Warriors: UNLEASHED
by Brightsparrow
Summary: You all know the warriors and their personalities. This is the time when the can act as nuts as they want! Dish on the others, and just voice their opinion! Makes a good story, really. So sit back and find out the shocking facts!
1. Chapter 1

I'm up to Sunset so if you are up to the Power or Three, or something, excuse me because I'm only doing events from which I experianced.

Characters:

Brightsparrow: normal

Firefang: Wackjob

On with the show!

Brightsparrow: Hello kitties of all forests, I'm Brightsparrow, and this is Firefang…

Firefang: -growls- FIRECLAN FIRECLAN!!!!!

Brightsparrow: She's nuts…and reads one page per day of a book

Firefang: Not true, you piece of foxdung!!! It's _half_ a page!

Brightsparrow: Making you even more slow…-ahem- welcome to WARRIORS: Unleashed!

Audience: -claps- WHOOOOOO!!

Brightsparrow: For our first guest, we have a ThunderClan warrior, who is always on patrol and does almost everything!

Firefang: -mutters to self- ThunderClan…not as good as MINE!!!

Brightsparrow: Please give it up for SANDSTORM!

Audience: -cheers-

Sandstorm: -sits down, with eye twitching- Hello, guys.

Firefang: Hello, crazy!

Brightsparrow: Quiet, Firefang! Now Sandstorm, how is life as a senior warrior?

Sandstorm: I am so stressed! I have two kits, one who has mate troubles, the other smells like sick cats! I am doing something everyday! That blasted Firestar…

Firefang, interupting: THAT WILL BE **MY** NAME ONE DAY! MUAHAHAHA!

Sandstorm: -throws dead mouse at Firefang- Shut up, furball! Anyway, Firestar is always asking for favors! "Sandstorm, could you organize patrols because I'm too lazy to get a deputy or do it myself? Sandstorm, could you hunt while the warriors rest and do nothing? You _are _the best hunter! Sandstorm, sorry I didn't give you more that one apprentice…even though you're the obvious choice! Sandstorm, could you work you're paws off and fight all day?" Why am I always the target? He is so annoying! Can't I have a day of rest? –twitch-

Firefang: Lazy bum…

Sandstorm: LAZY???? –throws latte at Firefang-

Brightsparrow: I wanted to do that ever since I met you! GO SANDSTORM!

Firefang: AGH! My eyes!! Where did you get a latte, anyway?

Sandstorm, twitching: Firestar sent me to a place called "Starbucks" and asked me to get him one…mouse dung…now I have go back…ah, forget it…he never lifts one finger, he MUST have energy to get it himself!

Brightsparrow: Oh…it'll be kind of easy for Firestar to get one…those Twolegs are building one in the forest now.

Firefang: Not just that but on every block!

Sandstorm:…Firefang, can I borrow your chainsaw?

Firefang: Ol' Organ Ripper? Sure!

Sandstorm: Thanks!

Brightsparrow: Are you going to use that on Firestar?

Sandstorm: No…that's too easy! I'll use it on whoever controls our thoughts in the books so that I'll hire a replacement who hates Firestar so that I'll seem totally innocent!

Firefang: I like your thinking…

Brightsparrow: Who do you like most in the forest?

Sandstorm: …Blackstar is a HUNK! So mysterious…plus, he likes to do things himself!

Brightsparrow: Besides Firestar…or the rest of your kin…who do you hate most?

Sandstorm: Dang…now I'm drawing a blank…uh…Firefang

Firefang: You can say goodbye to Ol' Organ Ripper.

Sandstorm: -throws another latte at Firefang-

Firefang: OW! Another latte?

Sandstorm: Firestar wanted two.

Brightsparrow: Before this gets any weirder lets end this! I'm Brightsparrow,

Sandstorm: I'm Sandstorm

Firefang: And I'm nearly blind…

Brightsparrow: SEE YA!


	2. Brambleclaw

Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors…I just bring 'em on here! This goes up to early Sunset…READING!

Remember,

Brightsparrow: Main host, normal she-cat of PuddleClan

Firefang: Prophecy obsessed, and crazy she-cat of FireClan.

Brightsparrow: Sup ladies and gentle-cats! I'm Brightsparrow,

Firefang: I'm AWESOME!

Brightsparrow: And this is Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Audience: -cheers and aplaudes-

Brightsparrow: Our guest today…

Firefang: Is a tom with a crazy mate…

Brightsparrow: And a father that's not getting a card for Father's Day!

Firefang: -sings "Say what you need to say"-

Brightsparrow: -bangs Firefang's head with a pan- NEVER…SING…THAT!

Firefang: You brought up cards…that means Hallmark…hence the song!

Brightsparrow: GRRR

Firefang: Anyway heeeeeerrrreeesss…….BRAMBLECLAW! The tom of my dreams…

Brightsparrow: -whispers- He has a mate…

Firefang: WHO I DESPISE

Brambleclaw: Hello peoples!

Brightsparrow: What are peoples?

Brambleclaw: I dunno…it sounds cool

Firefang: -stares lovingly- You are so right, Brambleclaw

Brightsparrow: Alrighty! So how's life with Squirrelflight?

Brambleclaw: I don't know how we got together…she's annoying and smells of horse waste,

Firefang: -develops hearts in her eyes- I agree!

Brambleclaw: She's also complaining about Ashfur…but isn't Ashfur, like…80 moons?

Brightsparrow: I was thinking 94!

Brambleclaw: -sighs- Firefang, do you still have Ol' Organ Ripper?

Firefang: Sandstorm's using it

Brambleclaw: -shivers-

Brightsparrow: I understand you brought a clip of the first time you had dinner with Squirrelflight's parents! Let's ROLL THE TAPE!

-static-

Squirrelflight: I'm so glad you agreed to this, Brambley Sweets!

Brambleclaw: GO BACK WITH ASHFUR!

Squirrelflight: You're so sweet!

-pads in the den-

Sandstorm: Hi there! Making dinner!

Brambleclaw: It looks like poop and vomit

Sandstorm: Thank you, Brambleclaw!

Brambleclaw: HAVE YOU HAD AN OVERDOSE OF CATMINT AND POPPY SEEDS?

Firestar: Hello! Sit,enjoy the meal!

Brambleclaw: -tastes, then spits out- AGH! What is this poison?

Squirrelflight: He likes it!

Sandstorm: It's shrew, toad, frog, lake water, and Squirrelflight's hair!

Leafpool: -enters- Busy day, I had to reattach an eye,

Brambleclaw: -vomits-

Sandstorm: That will be perfect for our next recipe! Thanks, Brambleclaw!

Leafpool: Rainwhisker had massive dirreah, I had to carry it home to show you. Doesn't taste bad!

Brambleclaw: -vomits more-

Leafpool: Also, most of Whitepaw's fur fell off. Here's some ingriedients, mommy!

Sandstorm: Just what we need for dessert!

Brambleclaw: -vomits his whole day's meal-

Squirrelflight: Rub me affectionatly, Bramble pie!

Brambleclaw: NOOOOO!

-tape ends-

Brightsparrow: That was just disasterous!

Firefang: I need that dinner recipe….

Brightsparrow: So Brambleclaw, tell me, if you could choose another mate, who would it be?

Brambleclaw: …this is embarrassing…I would have to pick…Firefang.

Firefang: -throws herself at Brambleclaw- I knew we were soulmates!

Audience: AWWW!

Squirrelflight: -barges in- BRAMBLECLAW?

Brambleclaw: Oh shrews…

Squirrelflight: Get away from my Bramble-spots you female pack of dogs!

Firefang: RUN BRAMBLECLAW!

Brambleclaw: HELP MEH!

Squirrelflight: GET BACK HERE!

-all of them run around the studio breaking everything-

Brightsparrow: Well that's it! I'm Brightsparrow!

Brambleclaw: I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU SQUIRRELFLIGHT!

Firefang: And I'm…

Squirrelflight: SO DEAD!

Brightsparrow: And this is the end of Warriors:UNLEASHED. And how unleashed it was! BYE!

Firefang, still running: Also, if you have a character that you'd like to see spill out all their secrets, tell us! If we like your suggestion, we'll use it!

Brambleclaw, running: Be warned, the character will appear in a sombrero! So pick wisely!

Firefang: But if all suggestions stink, we will use our own! So stay tuned! Ugh..I'm out of breath here!


	3. Firestar, in a sombrero

Special thanks to Avagrl-kataang-lova for the suggestion of FIRESTAR!

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Camera:

Woodcrest (1)

Jadepaw (2)

I DON'T OWN WARRIORS

Brightsparrow: -yawns- So, Firefang…who'd ya book for this show?

Firefang: Uhh…I got Firestar.

Brightsparrow: Stop invisioning yourself as leader, Firefang!

Firefang: -growls- IT WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY! Even though it will, I really booked him…you know leader of ThunderClan…that guy.

Brightsparrow: I hear something…

-limo pulls to the set-

Firefang: I told you

Brightsparrow: QUICK! Get on the set!

-runs to set-

Woodcrest: Cameras…show starting in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Jadepaw: -points-

Brightsparrow: Welcome to Warriors: UNLEASHED

Firefang: Our next guest, is a cat, with no respect what so ever for his mate…

Brightsparrow: Not to mention no care for toothpaste…

Firefang: Please give it up for FIRESTAR!

Audience: -cheers, along with boos and hisses-

Firestar: Hola!

Brightsparrow: Uhh…what's with the sombrero?

Firestar; Makes me look good…plus, it's SkyClan day!

Firefang: How does the sombrero represent SkyClan?

Firestar: All SkyClan cats wear sombreros! It's mentioned in my awesome super edition!

Brightsparrow: Uhh, no it isn't!

Firestar: They cut that out? Those blasted publishers!

Firefang: Okay, happy SkyClan Day, everyone!

Audience: -claps-

Brightsparrow: So, tell us about the first time you knew you were in love with Sandstorm!

Firestar: From the first day I met her…I knew she would be a great pack mule!

Firefang: WHAT???

Firestar: Have you seen how well she does my work? It's good to have her around!

Audience, mostly she-cats: -throws tomatoes at Firestar-

Firestar: AHH! COME ON! WHAT ELSE ARE MATES FOR?

Brightsparrow: -gets drum from nearby music store and smashes it on Firestar's head-

Audience: -throws so much tomatoes at Firestar, only his sombrero shows-

Firefang: -takes off sombrero- OMG! He's BALD on the top!

Brightsparrow: -looks inside sombrero- Ew, and he appears to have head lice!

Firestar: -emerges head from tomatoes- ugh…

Firefang: Well, one thing came out of this…marinara sauce! –holds up some crushed tomatoes-

Audience: -claps-

Brightsparrow: Now tell us ALL of your deep, dark, secrets!

Firefang: Or I'll get out Ol' Organ Ripper!

Brightsparrow: Oh goodie! Sandstorm returned it!

Audience: -cheers at the fact of Ol' Organ Ripper-

Firestar: NO WAY!

Firefang: -starts chainsaw-

Audience: -cheers-

Firestar: FINE! Here we go…-takes in a deep breath-

Brightsparrow: Spit it out, tomato fur!

Firestar: Okay! I actually have a whole list! –list rolls out up to 24 feet-

I still enjoy kittypet food

I knocked down that tree that killed Mudclaw by farting on it

I still suck my thumb

I have a collection of Beanie Babies

For a moment, I thought Tigerstar looked hot

I am Luke Skywalker's mother's cousin twice removed

I have 30 tapeworms in my body

I give tapeworms to Leafpool and disguise them as herbs, after I poop them out

When I was a kittypet, I mated with a pug- we have 3 beautiful puppkits!

-2 hours later-

234. I am part lizard

235. I eat cats after they die in battle

236. I love disco

Brightsparrow: -falling asleep- Wow…that was…revealing…

Firefang: -snores-

Brightsparrow: -nudges Firefang- Wake up, dude. –yawns-

Firefang, sleeping: I said I wanted pepperoni on that…-snores-

Brightsparrow: Oh well, that's it for today! I'm Brightsparrow

Firestar: I'm mental!

Firefang, still sleeping: I like glitter, too…-snore-

Brightsparrow: See ya! This character's choice is between Mothwing and Tigerstar! One of them will meet with us next!


	4. Tigerstar

The people out there have chosen…TIGERSTAR

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Camera:

Woodcrest

Jadepaw

Brightsparrow: Firefang, the results are in!

Firefang: Let's see…uh oh!

Brightsparrow: I don't like the way you said that. Okay, what mess has been sent to us now?

Firefang: T-Tigerstar!

Brightsparrow: -GASP-

Firefang: Well, let's go deal with this nonsense…

-both run to set-

Brightsparrow: Lights, Camera…

Firefang: BURRITO!

Woodcrest: And…

Jadepaw: …we're ON!

Brightsparrow: Hello cats! Welcome to Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Audience: -cheers-

Firefang: Today we have a really bad kitty!

Brightsparrow: One who has caused pain to many others…

Firefang; And we still love him!

Brightsparrow: Please give it up for TIGERSTAR!

Audience: -cheers and aplaudes-

Firefang: That's a bigger cheer than Firestar ever got!

Tigerstar: -comes in- I LIKE BLOOD!

Brightsparrow: Thanks Mr. Tigerstar for coming here!

Tigerstar: YOU WILL DIE!

Firefang: So, why do you hate kittypets, half-Clan cats, and all non-pure stuff?

Tigerstar: -sigh- Before Stonefur, or Stonekit, went to RiverClan, he came into the nursery…and –sniffles- STOLE MY PET ROOOCK! I MISS YOU MR. ROCKY! –breaks into tears-

Brightsparrow: …weird

Tigerstar: After that I never ever forgave his kind!

Firefang: So what do you like to do in your spare time?

Tigerstar: For one thing, I like to dress up as Hannah Montana and sing one of her songs. You can do that since you're all alone in that forest away from StarClan! Here! I brought my wig to show you! –puts the wig on-

Brightsparrow: Could you take that off? It's disturbing me!

Tigerstar: NEVER! I might even be…A ROCKSTAR!

Firefang: Stop it

Tigerstar: Hey, life's what you make it!

Brightsparrow: Really that's annoying!

Tigerstar: Well, nobody's perfect!

Firefang: Do that one more time and…

Tigerstar: That chance of me doing that is ONE IN A MILLION!

Firefang: -smashes guitar on Tigerstar- How's that, ROCKSTAR?

Tigerstar: I hate you

Brightsparrow: Not suprising…everyone does!

Firefang: Grrr

Brightsparrow: …what ELSE do you do in your spare time?

Tigerstar: I color in my coloring book! Look at this one! I colored a pony! Neigh!

Firefang: You are a wimp.

Tigerstar: I get scared easily! And you thought that was just MUD in the forest!

Brightsparrow: …ew.

Firefang: But you seemed kinda…tough in the series!

Tigerstar: Editing, my dear friend!

Firefang: You said you hated me!

Tigerstar: Yeah…but I sounded cool!

Brightsparrow: So why did Sasha leave you?

Tigerstar: I started doing Hannah puns around her. She doesn't get the best of both worlds!

Firefang: I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT! –attacks Tigerstar-

Tigerstar, in a high pitched voice: EEP! –runs-

Firefang: -runs after him- GET BACK HERE YOU LOAD OF CROW-FOOD! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR WIG OFF!

Tigerstar: NOOO!

Brightsparrow: Ugh, Woodcrest, please freeze!

-scene freezes-

Brightsparrow: -brings both of them back to the set and ties them up- Unfreeze!

Firefang: DIE! You idiotic…huh? What the-

Brightsparrow: Don't ask…

Tigerstar: ONCE I GET OUT OF HERE YOU'RE GONNA BE FED TO THE PACK OF DOGS!

Brightsparrow: Now, since this is too good to pass up, we will start a new segment called THE SECRET LAIR!

Tigerstar: What the shrew…?

Brightsparrow: First, since the show is dead without her, I will untie Firefang!

-unties her-

Firefang: HAHA! Loser…

Brightsparrow: First secret! He believed he has mystical fairy powers as an apprentice!

Audience: -laughs-

Tigerstar: It's true! I used to fly at my mentor!

Firefang: He thinks Harry Potter is a furry toilet in London…

Tigerstar: What else could it be?

Brightsparrow: His username for email is princesstigerstar!

Tigerstar: So…?

Firefang: Well that's all we have! I'm Firefang!

Brightsparrow: I'm Brightsparrow!

Tigerstar: AND I WILL KILL YOU ALL!

Brightsparrow: SEE YA!

(Note: I know this wasn't as funny as tapeworms in Firestar…so just accept it –Em)


	5. Bluestar in a banana suit

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Cameras:

Woodcrest

Jadepaw

Brightsparrow: Welcome to Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Audience: -cheers-

Firefang: Our guest today…

Brightsparrow: Is the leader before Firestar…

Firefang: With an obsession for traitors!

Brightsparrow: Please give it up for BLUESTAR!

Audience: -cheers-

Bluestar: Sup Cat-merica!

Brightsparrow: Sweet banana suit!

Bluestar: You like it? CUZ IT'S PEANUT BUTTA JELLY TIME!!

Firefang: I know that you had a truce with StarClan and all that….but you're still kinda nuts!

Bluestar: Yeah that's pretty mu…-sniffs chair- I know that scent! –GASP- TIGERSTAR!

Brightsparrow: Oh yeah, we had him on the show before you! What a nutcase!

Bluestar: TRAITOR TRAITOR!!! APPRENTICES STINK! BOW DOWN TO ME! WHERE ARE MUH POPPY SEEDS?

Firefang: Hey, calm down, crazy!

Bluestar: YOU DISRESPECTIN' ME, BOY?

Firefang: I'm a she-cat…

Bluestar: GET MY CAPE! HERE COMES BLUESTAR! NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BLUESTAR!-goes crazy and runs all over the studio-

Brightsparrow: This is getting out of control!

Firefang: Yeah, but the ratings are pretty good!

Bluestar: -approaches cat in the audience- OMG! YOU LOOK LIKE….-GASP- DARKSTRIPE!

Cat: Uhh…my name is Nightfur…

Bluestar: DIE! –gets out chainsaw-

Firefang: Hey! She took mine…

Nightfur: AAAH! –runs-

Bluestar: FACE THE WRATH OF THE BANANA SUIT!

Audience: -screams, runs out the door-

Brightsparrow: Great! Our audience is gone!

Firefang: -goes over to Bluestar- No more chainsaw for you! –swipes it out of her paws-

Brightsparrow: Ugh, we still have much more to do!

Firefang: Rule number 5 of television. Do masacres at the END of the show!

Bluestar: I need therepy, don't I?

Brightsparrow: Yes, Ms. Obvious.

Firefang: Let's just do this for the veiwers at home right now!

Brightsparrow: Right…so…what's your favorite food?

Bluestar; I'm wearing it.

Firefang: I like to eat Bluestars, too. –gives a stare-

Bluestar:…she frightens me.

Brightsparrow: Firefang, she was talking about bananas.

Firefang: I still enjoy eating Bluestars!

Brightsparrow: Okay…what did you like so much about Oakheart?

Bluestar: …I never liked Oakheart!

Firefang: But it was in the story! You were in lo-

Bluestar: -hits Firefang with a banana before she finishes- LIKE I SAID…I never liked Oakheart!

Brightsparrow: Bluestar, the whole world knows that!

Bluestar: YOU DISAGREEIN' WIT MEH?

Brightsparrow: Uh, yes!

Bluestar: MORE TRAITAZZZ! WEEEHOOOWEEEHOO! I WILL PUT YOU IN THE FIRE! BUUURNN!

Firefang: -shocks Bluestar with a tazer- NO! Bad kitty…

Bluestar: -wimpers-

Brightsparrow: Before the next segment I need to do something…-tapes Bluestar to the chair-

Bluestar: Hey! What the-

Firefang: Time for…THE SECRET LAIR!

Brightsparrow: She is addicted to poppy seeds…as witnessed before!

Bluestar: Well then that's no secret!

Firefang; Shut up! –ahem- She eats bananas claiming they're a fruit, when they're really an herb! Go check the internet! (no seriously they're not fruit…)

Bluestar: Th-They're not fruit? STARCLAN HAS LEFT MEH ONCE AGAIN!

Brightsparrow: Has made sculptures of Yellowfang in a fairy costume out of her own dung.

Bluestar: Have you seen them? I'm a good artist!

Brightsparrow; That's it, folks! I'm Brightsparrow!

Firefang: I like eating Bluestars…

Bluestar: And I'm scared…

Brightsparrow: And this is…

Bluestar, interrupting: PEANUT BUTTA JELLY TIME!

Brightsparrow: Warriors: UNLEASHED! BYE!

QUESTION: Who's the next character? One week to vote GOOO!


	6. Cloudtail

Special thanks to for the suggestion of Cloudtail!

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Camera:

Woodcrest

Jadepaw

Brightsparrow: Greetings cats of all ages! I'm Brightsparrow!

Firefang: And I WILL be FIRESTAR

Brightsparrow: -whispers- Not a good choice if you don't want respect…

Firefang: BOW DOWN TO MEH…oh…right. Okay, so just Firefang…

Brightsparrow: And this is:

-music plays- Warriors: ULEASHED!

Firefang: Thanks to Woodcrest for the FUNKY music!

Audience: -claps-

Jadepaw: Why don't I ever do anything?

Woodcrest: I'm too cool. Where have you ever heard "crest" as the second half of a name?

Jadepaw: On nutcases! Plus, it's toothpaste!

Woodcrest: Which is why mine are so white…

Brightsparrow: -throws leftover tomato at them-

Woodcrest: NOOO! My teeth! They're tomato stained!

Jadepaw: Haha!

Firefang: Anyway, our guest today, is a kittypet at heart…

Brightsparrow: And has the issues his uncle has…

Firefang: Please give it up for CLOUDTAIL!

Audience: -claps-

Cloudtail: Hello, freaks! You interrupted me from the manicure my Twoleg was giving me…

Firefang: You still visit them?

Brightsparrow: Okay, first question. What is so delicious about kittypet slop?

Cloudtail: Well, I like the sound of it when it opens. Plus it tastes like horesplace waste!

Firefang: You like that stuff?

Cloudtail: Remember when we came to get Daisy back into ThunderClan and Smokey fed us?

Brightsparrow: yeah…

Cloudtail: What do you think that was?

Brightsparrow: -gag-

Firefang: Why does every episode in this involve poop? MOVING ON! So what made you foeget Brightheart in _Twilight_ book 5?

Cloudtail: Who's Brightheart?

Brightsparrow: (…)

Cloudtail: OH! Right…um…badgers

Firefang: Before that…

Cloudtail: Erm…HOW DARE YOU INSULT MEH UNCLE!

Brightsparrow: But she didn't-

Firefang: Don't worry, it's his answer to everything.

Cloudtail: Have you forgotten my leader was a kittypet? HUH?

Brightsparrow: He has Firestar's genes…

Cloudtail: -sings- DON'T STOP ME NOOOW! HAVIN' SUCH A GOOD TIME!

Firefang: I've been meaning to ask this. Are you gonna get that rash on your buttocks taken care of?

Cloudtail: -rubs bottom against chair-

Firefang: -squirts him with water- NO! Bad Cloudtail

Cloudtail: Hey!

Brightsparrow: ANSWER!

Cloudtail: Maybe…or I can just spread ringworm to all of you! MUAHAHA!

Firefang: Time for…THE SECRET LAIR!

-organ plays-

Brightsparrow: I would like to thank Beethoven for offering to play the organ. His name is now Deafpaw.

Deafpaw/Beethoven: What?

Audience: -claps-

Firefang: Now let's READ! Ahem…He has joined an anger management class called "So you like to eat squirrel brains"

Cloudtail: Are you surprised?

Brightsparrow: After dogs mauled Brightheart, he found her eye and…ate it?

Cloudtail: Tasty…

Firefang: Last, but not least, his kittypet name is….

Cloudtail: Don't say it… you load of Firestar…

Firefang: MARMADUKE FLUFFIKINS THE THIRD!!! –breaks out laughing-

Cloudtail: NOOOOOOO!

Brightsparrow: That's it for today! I'm Brightsparrow…

Cloudtail: I'm Clou-

Firefang: MARMADUKE FLUFFIKINS! –laughs more- And I'm Firefang!

Brightsparrow: SEE YA!

QUESTION:

This is another battle!

It's between the two cats I dislike very much

SQUIRRELFLIGHT v.s. ASHFUR!

Vote Vote Vote!


	7. Ashfur

The people out there have chosen ASHFUR!

Thanks to everyone!

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Camera:

Woodcrest

Jadepaw

Organ:

Deafpaw

ON WITH IT!

Brightsparrow: Hello, kitty cats! I'm Brightsparrow…

Firefang: …and I'm Firefang!

Brightsparrow: This is…

-music plays, cool graphics come up- Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Firefang: Thanks to Jadepaw for the awesome graphics!

Audience: -claps-

Jadepaw: HA! Take that, Woodcrest! Also, I am now Jade_thorn_

Woodcrest: Hey, so what? I did much more! I even booked Deafpaw!

Deafpaw: What?

Jadethorn: Of course he didn't HEAR your offer!

Deafpaw: What?

Brightsparrow: YOU TWO! Stop confusing Deafpaw!

Deafpaw: What?

Firefang: Anyway, our guest today, is a cat with a HUGE grudge for someone…

Brightsparrow: …and a sister with another clan starting (thanks icethroat21 for "FernClan")

Firefang: Please give it up…or not…for ASHFUR

Audience: -claps…somewhat-

Ashfur: -sits down- Hello, you two pieces of Twoleg waste

Brightsparrow: Quiet, I don't like you at all. These five minutes, I will dread more than you do…

Ashfur: -growls -

Firefang: Okay, first question! What do you like to do in your spare time?

Ashfur: Right now, I'm laying down the boundaries for my sister's clan…

Brightsparrow: She doesn't have THAT many kits…

Ferncloud: Thanks, Brightsparrow: Oh! Just had my 100th kit! Your name is…Twolegkit

Firefang: Twolegkit?

Ashfur: She used every name in the universe…that's the only on left…

Ferncloud: Had another one…you name is Spiderkit II!

Brightsparrow: 0_0 Okay, I made a mistake…

Ashfur: And Dustpelt's too old for her…

Firefang: YOU'RE too old for Squirrelflight!

Ashfur: (…)

Brightsparrow: Okay, so what do you like to fantasize about?

Ashfur: Chainsaws running through my hater's brains…

Firefang: What..?

Ashfur: -pulls out a chainsaw- HAHAHAAHAHA!!!! DIE, MOUSE-BRAINS! –eyes go in different directions like a nutcase-

Brightsparrow: AAAHH!

Firefang: AAAHHH! –notices it's her chainsaw- WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE TO USE MY CHAINSAW???

Ashfur: HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! –tears chainsaw into the middle of the couch-

Brightsparrow & Firefang: AAAHHHH! –run to the "EXIT" door-

Firefang: Hey! That was real leather, PUNK!

-fire starts randomly through the studio-

Audience: -gets out of the building-

Ashfur: -blocks them from the exit door- Not so fast! I tried all possible attempts to humiliate Squirrelflight! Farting on her, adding fleas to her kill, and putting itching power in her nest! But now, all I have to do is prevent her from being on television! I have to let you BURN!

Brightsparrow: Oh no! We'll never penetrate through his fat, cake-filled, self!

Ashfur: Exactly-wait…HEY!

Firefang: Hey, Brightsparrow, doesn't this seem familiar?

Brightsparrow: Oh yeah! Hey you did this already!

Ashfur: I thought you were up to SUNSET!

Firefang: Spoilers on the Internet!

Ashfur: Internet?

Brightsparrow: Some Twoleg thing. We're smarter than you so we know how to use it!

Ashfur: Still, you'll never get through! MUAHAHAHAAHA!

Firefang: -sighs- Woodcrest, freeze the scene!

-scene freezes-

Firefang: -extinguishes the fire, gets the audience back here, and ties up Ashfur- UNFREEZE!

-scene unfreezes-

Ashfur: -still laughing like a maniac- AHAha-…what the- GET ME OUT OF THIS INFERNAL CONTRAPTION!

Brightsparrow: Hey, he's not chasing us!

Firefang: Ashfur, that contraption is called ROPE.

Ashfur: Don't tell me about complicated Twoleg technology!

Brightsparrow: You know what itching powder, fox traps, and paint are, but not rope? No wonder Squirrelflight got bored with you!

Firefang: Anyway, time for…THE SECRET LAIR!

-organ plays-

Ferncloud: Had another kit! Your name is after Deafpaw!

Deafpaw: What?

Brightsparrow: He enjoys Kool-Aid and pretends to use it as blood.

Ashfur: Your point?

Firefang: He uses the Kool-Aid as a subsotute for blood, even during battle. In other words, as the second secret, has never killed a cat.

Ashfur: The secret's out! OH NO!

Brightsparrow: -mimocks- oh no…

Kool-Aid man: -bashes through wall- OH YEAH!!!!

Everyone: -stares-

Firefang: Erm…and finally, it's not that he hates Squirrelflight for choosing Brambleclaw, he's mad at Brambleclaw for choosing Squirrelflight…over him!

Ashfur: -drools- Bramblecl- uh…Squirrelflight.

Firefang: Even the Kool-Aid man found that embarrassing!

Kool-aid man: OH YEAH!!!! I did…

Brightsparrow: Uh…that's it! I'm Brightsparrow!

Firefang: I'm shocked…

Ashfur: And you're gonna pay! ALL OF YOU! EVEN THE KOOL- AID MAN!

Kool-Aid man: OH YEAH!!!!

Brightsparrow: See ya!

The next contestant starts with a C and is hopeless!

GUESS WHO IT IS!


	8. Crowfeather

Thanks to Oo-Rainpath-oO for this suggestion!

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Cameras:

Woodcrest

Jadethorn

Organ:

Deafpaw

LET'S ROOOLLL

Before the show…

Brightsparrow and Firefang were in their trailer reviewing their script, I mean questions. When all of a sudden:

CRASH!

Brightsparrow: Sacred Bark, Honey, Ivy, and Thistle! What in the Moonpool…?

Firefang: It's huge…

Brightsparrow: It's black…

Firefang: It's kinda ugly…

Mysterious thing: Ow…

Brightsparrow:…Crowfeather?

Crowfeather: HI

Firefang: Let me guess, more mate troubles?

Crowfeather: It's like your PSYCHIC!

Brightsparrow: This is gonna be a good one –snickers-

Firefang: You said it! –snickers- But how did you get crashed into the window here?

Crowfeather: Leafpool got mad at me…she consulted StarClan and Feathertail threw me over here…

Brightsparrow: I think we can help…

Crowfeather: You have a Butterfinger? I love chocolate! GIMME!

Firefang: Great! He's stupid!

Brightsparrow: Firefang, get out the chainsaw! I'll tie him up!

Firefang: -takes out Ol' Organ Ripper- I haven't used you in a while!

Crowfeather: Oh so this is my punishment…

_At the show:_

Brightsparrow: Hello all viewers! I'm Brightsparrow…

Firefang; I got to use my chainsaw! YES!!

Brightsparrow: And this is…

-funky music and graphics play- Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Firefang: Our guest today is a strange tom…

Brightsparrow: …who just can't get a girl!

Firefang: It also took a little convincing to get him on here…-snickers-

Brightsparrow: Please give it up for CROWFEATHER!

Audience: -claps-

Crowfeather: HI

Firefang: Glad you could come on!

Crowfeather: I had to. You guys tied me up, threatened me with a chainsaw, and made me watch all 7 episodes of this until I said yes!

Brightsparrow: Your mate problems have made you nuts! We didn't do that! Heehee

Crowfeather: You guys also didn't give me my Butterfinger!

Firefang: We made the right choice having you on!

Brightsparrow: So Crowfeather, why is it so impossible to find a mate? Well as of right now…(Sunset)

Crowfeather: I draw them away with my craving for Butterfingers and my stench…

Brightsparrow: Oh yeah…-holds nose- I thought Firefang had another burrito for lunch! Hey Firefang…

Firefang, passed out: …

Brightsparrow: GREAT. The life of the show is passed out! WOODCREST! GET THE POWER-WASHER!

Crowfeather: Power-washer?

Woodcrest: -sprays Crowfeather with maximum water power-

Crowfeather: That hurt…

Brightsparrow: Also, wake up Firefang, please.

Woodcrest: -sprays Firefang with Power-Washer-

Firefang: AH! Ah! What the? I'm soaking wet! What mouse-brain did this?

Woodcrest: -whistles a tune-

Firefang: YOU! –leaps at Crowfeather-

Crowfeather: AH!

Firefang: -Grasps his leg with her teeth-

Crowfeather: Get off! I didn't do it! Woodcrest did! –shakes her off-

Firefang: Ooops…well I can't harm the staff.

Woodcrest: PHEW!

Jadethorn: Aw…

Brightsparrow: Okay, I thought that a little shove would wake her up, but that works, too!

Firefang: Grr…anyway, we have a clip from the last time Crowfeather went speed dating!

Brightsparrow: ROLL THE TAPE!

-static-

Crowfeather: Do I have to do this?

Leafpool: It's for the better! I could lose my job over this!

Crowfeather: You realized that already happened…

Leafpool: I guess that thing "Internet" Ashfur told me about was real! NOW GO!

Crowfeather: -sits at the table-

Squirrelflight: Hey, Crowy!

Crowfeather: Squirrelflight?

Squirrelflight: Yeah, Ashfur isn't doing too well…and by that I mean he's trying to make me as miserable as possible…

Crowfeather: Er, Sorry

Squirrelflight: Oh, no it's fine…

Crowfeather: You know, you should go out with Brambleclaw-

Squirrelflight: NEVER SPEAK OF HIM!!!!!! –picks up and throws table at Crowfeather-

Crowfeather: AAHH! –ducks- HA! You missed me!

Squirrelflight: URRGNGAAaAA! –drools foam at the mouth-

Crowfeather: So this is what Brambleclaw meant-

Squirrelflight: NARRRRG!!! –attacks the camera-

=STAND BY=

Crowfeather, with casts and bandages all over him: She's nuts….

Ashfur: -sits at the table- Hey

Crowfeather: AGH! A-Ashfur! What are you doing here?

Ashfur: Came to find a date, of course! Surely you saw the last Warriors: ULEASHED, right?

Crowfeather: Oh right…but I'm not…what you are…

Ashfur: In that case, -lights a match and drops it, causing a fire-

Crowfeather: -runs for the EXIT-

Ashfur: -blocks Crowfeather-

Crowfeather: This again?

=STAND BY=

Crowfeather, with 3rd degree burns: He and Squirrelflight _were_ made for each other!

Ashfoot: -sits down- Hey, Crowzykins!

Crowfeather: MOM?

Ashfoot: -makes out with Crowfeather-

Crowfeather: AAAAHHHHAHAHA!!!

= Later, in the insane assylum=

Crowfeather, in a mental istitution uniform, shivering: I do believe in fairies I do believe in fairies I do believe in fairies!

Firestar, the mental insttution guy: Okay, Crowfeather, you are suffering from extreme paranoia, and will need to stay captive for…3 moons. Just to get away from she-cats…

Leafpool: Hi, daddy! Hi Crowy!

Crowfeather: AHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

-tape ends-

Brightsparrow: You _do _have the worst luck with she-cats…

Firefang: …and Ashfur!

Brightsparrow: We gotta wrap up…time for…THE SECRET LAIR!

Deafpaw: -plays organ-

Firefang: Your humongous blue eyes are from surgery done by Barkface…

Crowfeather: The only things attractive about me…

Brightsparrow: You care for your pelt by using…Moonpool water?

Firefang: We actually have a clip of you in the Moonpool. ROLL IT!

-static-

Crowfeather, singing: I'M SINGING IN THE MOONPOOL! I'M SINGING IN THE MOONPOOL! AFTER ALL THOSE CRAZY SHE-CATS, I'M JUST SINGING…IN THE MOONPOOL!

-tape ends-

Crowfeather: Leafpool is gonna have another fit about this…

Brightsparrow: WOW.

Firefang: And last, you took hair from Sharptooth and made a wig out of it…

Crowfeather: I used it for Halloween! I dressed as Ferncloud after having a bad day…

Brightsparrow: That's it, kittehs! I'm Brightsparrow…

Firefang: I'm Firefang…

Crowfeather: -puts on the wig- Heehee

Brightsparrow: SEE YA!

BATTLE TIME!

It's the battle between the stupid she-cats that were left behind!

Mothwing v.s. Squirrelflight!

And if you want something to happen specifically, tell me!


	9. Mothwing

Thanks to the voters for MOTHWING.

Stay tuned for a SPECIAL…episode…you gotta wait!

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Cameras:

Woodcrest

Jadethorn

Organ:

Deafpaw

ROLL WITH IT!

_Before the show:_

Hawkfrost: Hey Mothwing, Check this out! –points to bulletin board by the island the Twolegs built advertising for Warriors: UNLEASHED-

Mothwing: What is this garbage?

Hawkfrost: It says a sign will come to you from StarClan, signaling that you're the next contestant!

Mothwing: OOH! Do you see anything?

Hawkfrost: -plants a moth's wing by the sign- OH! –looks at her and back- It's a MOTH'S WING! Look at that!

Mothwing, stupid enough to believe it: I'm THE CHOSEN ONE AGAIN! But hey, what about that hawk in the trees covered with frost?

The hawk: I'm cold….

Hawkfrost: Oh never mind him, it's leaf-bare, right?

Mothwing: No, Greenleaf.

Hawkfrost: -takes advantage of her stupidness- They changed the name leaf-bare to green-leaf! Didn't you read it in the newspaper?

Mothwing: Oh really? So, I better go on that show!

_In the studio, before the show:_

Brightsparrow: Has Hawkfrost responded to our request?

Firefang: Er…no…his sister did…

Brightsparrow: WHAT? How could you mistake a sign like a near-frozen hawk?

Firefang: I really don't know…hey she sent us a letter!

Brightsparrow: Oh, lets read it!

**Dear Warriors: UNLEASHED,**

**Thanks for having me on the show! I loved the moth's wing! Very clever of you! I had never seen that before! Well, hope to meet you on the stage in the beautiful climates of leaf-bare! Did you know they changed the name greenleaf to leaf-bare? SO SHOCKING. Anyway, there's a freezing hawk claiming you sent him. Better put him in the mental insitution with Crowfeather!**

**Sincerely,**

**Mothwing**

**P.S I'm out of this thingy called "Yarrow" that's all important and stuff…if you find some tell me what it's for, okay?**

Brightsparrow and Firefang stare at the letter shocked at her stupidness.

Firefang: Erm…you know…Hawkfrost is…way too intelligent for this show

Brightsparrow: -nods head in agreement with the shocked expression on her face-

Firefang: Okay, let's interview…

_At the show:_

Brightsparrow: Hello all she-cats and toms! I'm Brightsparrow!

Firefang: I am smart (clue to the special –winks-)

Brightsparrow: AND THIS IS….

-funky music and graphics play- Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Firefang: Our first contestant, is a medicine cat…

Brightsparrow: Who…most of the time…has no idea what she's doing

Firefang: Please give it up for MOTHWING!

Audience: -cheers-

Mothwing: HI

Brightsparrow: Oh, did you find that yarrow?

Mothwing: You mean this? –holds up a tomato-

Firefang: No…

Mothwing: This? –holds up an umbrella-

Brightsparrow: That's an umbrella…

Mothwing: This? –holds up Hawkfrost-

Hawkfrost: Put me down, you vile piece of fox-dung!

Mothwing: I'm almost positive this is yarrow!

Firefang: That's your brother!

Mothwing: Oh…

Hawkfrost: Now you realize why I screamed when you took off part of my tail, and tried to soothe a paw pad with it!

Jadethorn: -looks at her paw- AHH! MOTHWING! YOU GAVE ME HAWKFROST TAIL?

Woodcrest: Ha!

Jadethorn: Shut your trap! –places paw over his face-

Woodcrest: AHH! NOW I HAVE NON-AWESOME GERMS ON ME! –runs away but bumps into Deafpaw's organ-

Deafpaw: What?

Hawkfrost: Non-awesome? Get over here, you mouse-brained dragonfly covered with bacon!

Firefang: Yum…BaCoN!

Woodcrest, passed out: …

Brightsparrow: Hawkfrost, operate the camera!

Hawkfrost, acting like a two-moon old: NO! –sticks tounge out-

Firefang: DO IT! –gets out Ol' Organ Ripper- MUAHAHA!

Hawkfrost: -mumbles to self as he walks to the camera-

Brightsparrow: Okay, enough of him. So, Mothwing, why do you need Leafpool to do everything for you?

Mothwing: She's a medicine cat, isn't she?

Firefang: But you are, too.

Mothwing: I am? YAY! IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! –starts dancing badly-

Bluestar: GO MOTHWING! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT! Wait a second…you're the daughter of…-gasp- TIGERSTAR!!! TRAITOR! TRAITOR! –foams at the mouth, eye twitching-

Brightsparrow: Enough of you Bluestar!

Bluestar: -runs around the studio, arms flailing-

Firefang: EW! She's getting foam EVERYWHERE!

Brightsparrow: -turns off cell phone- I hired a dude named Cleaningpaw…

Firefang: Okay. So Mothwing, what's the latest sickness you have dealt with?

Mothwing: Sickness? What has that got to do with me?

Brightsparrow: Medicine cats treat illnesses.

Mothwing: Um…

Firefang: Medicine kitties make boo-boo go bye-bye!

Mothwing: OH! I thought you had to _spread_ the boo-boos! Whoops! Heehee!

Brightsparrow: Has that old Mudfur tought you anything?

Mothwing: er…hehe

Firefang: We have a clip of you training with Mudfur! ROLL IT!

-static-

Mothwing: What are we gonna learn today?

Mudfur, in an old voice: We're gonna –falls asleep and snores-

Mothwing: -writes down "snore all day'- Interesting…then what?

Mudfur: -drools-

Mothwing: -writes down "drool a water fountain"- Okay…then?

Mudfur, in his sleep: Hmmm, catmint! –moves arms and legs as if he's running through a meadow-

Mothwing: -writes down "get high on catmint"- This seems easy enough! –goes to his computer to play tetris- Hehe!

-tape ends-

Audience: -silent-

Brightsparrow: …

Firefang; ….

Jadethorn: …

Cricket: …

Hawkfrost: That's my sister!

Brightsparrow, with a shocked expression on her face: Time for the Secret Lair

Deafpaw: -plays organ-

Fiefang: She believes her poo is chocolate Tigerstar stored in there in case she's hungry.

Mothwing: -eats her dung and looks at it- …Hawkfrost was right….

Brightsparrow: The river that was filled with the toxic waste that Mothwing couldn't smell, was only considered poisonous after her visit doing buisness in it.

Mothwing: A cat has gotta pee, its gotta pee.

Firefang: Downer…

Brightsparrow: …Well I have nothing. I'm Brightsparrow!

Firefang: I'm Firefang!

Mothwing: And remember, foxglove seeds are good, poppy seeds are bad.

Brightsparrow: Er…no, the other way around.

Firefang; SEE YA!


	10. Writers Block, Scourge

No special episode….sorry peoples :P

ENJOY THIS VIDEO ON WRITER'S BLOCK

(no it is not the lame "little billy" school videos or whatever)

Firefang: Er…Hello. You are probably wondering why the atmosphere isn't as fun as it should be…welll….while trying to come up with ideas….Brightsparrow got a little case of writer's block. Here's the clip of how it went down

-static

Scourge: -pads into the office- Brightsparrow?

Brightsparrow: Oh yeah, the "scary" kitty. Now tell me, why should I listen to the readers?

Scourge: I enjoy quesodillas

Brightsparrow: So you have nothing?

Scourge: No….

Brightsparrow: Didn't Firestar kill you? Pretty embarassing…

Scourge: he was young back then….much more adrenaline and energy…and I was….9

Brightsparrrow: -drinks cappucino- Ahhh, try not to add to why you did get killed.

Scourge: Why????

Brightsparrow: I WANT READERS TO LAUGH THEIR TAILS OFF!

Scourge: Wouldn't that hurt them?

Brightsparrow: -vein bulges out of head in anger- NO! That means they like something!

Scourge: Then I must be emo, since I have my tail all fasted up! It will never fall off!

Brightsparrow: yes but in a recent poll, most cats are like you! –pulls out map like thing-

**HAS YOUR TAIL FALLEN OFF IN THE PAST WEEK?**

**93%-----NO**

**4%-------YES**

**3%--------I DON'T HAVE A TAIL**

Scourge: EMO EPIDEMIC!!!!

Brightsparrow: EXACTLY! Since you are as boring as Firestar, I need material, and at least 3 secrets.

Scourge: Welll……I enjoy….mice

Brightsparrow: That's all? What has BloodClan done for you? I should have an audience! But I delayed this show! –drinks more cappucino-

Scourge: Well…one time I worked ata McDonalds….

Brightsparrow: ROLL THE TAPE

-static- (Author: -butts in- Swweeet! I tape INSIDE A TAPE!)

Customer: -walks in-

Scourge: What would you like to order?

Customer: Cheeseburger

-5 mintues later-

Scourge: -gives Cheeseburger- here's your change –drops some nickels in-

Boss: YO FIRED

Scourge: Aww

-tape ends-

Brightsparrow: -has steam coming out of her head-

Scourge- Quite exciting….

Brightsparrow: -holds up notes- What do you see here?

Scourge: Wided ruled paper? For 2$? Where did you….

Brightsparrow: IT is a BLANK sheet of paper. A paper in which my notes for the interview will be on! Thanks to you I have NOTHING!

Scourge: it's usually so expensive, that type of paper…

Brightsparrow: -slaps Scourge- STOP GETTING MESMERIZED BY THE PAPER!

Scourge: Sorry

Brightsparrow: I understand you brought some footage in?

Scourge: -hands her the tape- I hosted the HAA awards (hunting achievment awards) along with Bluestar

Brightsparrow: -plugs into VCR-

-static-

Bluestar: And the winner for best hunting skills goes to ….TIGERSTAR

Tigerstar: -squeals- EEE! Thank you so much!

Scourge; -is dazed from too much catmint- Okay okay…-takes mic from Tigerstar- Gonna let you finish, but Firestar is the best hunter EVERRRRR –passes out-

Bluestar: Ummm –eye twitches- TREachory!!!!! –foam spurts from mouth as she scares cats away-

Tigerstar: WAH

-tape ends-

Brightsparrow: Truthfully, Bluestar was hilarious! But there are some smart critics out there!

Scourge; I see

5 HOURS LATER

Scourge: I also fought a bee who stung me….he died instantly….i also went to Bob Sagat's house…

Brightsparrow: -laid over the desk, drooling, flies all around her-

Scourge: Are you okay?

Brightsparrow: NO

Scourge: Oh….

Brightsparrow: OKAY, I'm DONE WITH YOU!!!! I'm getting HAWKFROST

Scourge: What?????

Brightsparrow: -types in a number on the phone- 998-STARCLAN

Receptionist in Starclan: -picks up phone- StarClan residence, Judy speaking.

Brightsparrow: I NEED HAWKFROST

Judy: Oh, BRIGHTEH! Another interview?

Brightsparrow: I just need a replacement

Judy: Scourge is boring? Yeah…-chews gum- Firefang is taping this….

Brightsparrow: WHAT???

Judy: YAH I KNOW! So stupid…wait. OH MEH GAWSH, I'm ON TELEVISION! Hi mah! –waves-

Brightsparrow: Can I just speak with him?

Judy: he's having a disco party, but I'll fetch him

A MINUTE LATER

Hawkfrost: Ello?

Brightsparrow: COME TO THE SHOW! I'm dying with Scourge!!!

Scourge: I also like tapioca…

Brightsparrow: -throws a stapler at him- SHUT UP, FURBALL! –sweet voice- Can ya do it?

Hawkfrost: H-hold on –turns to speak with Mothwing, gets kicked back to the phone-

Brightsparrow: What was that all about?

Hawkfrost: You'll find out on the next episode….

Brightsparrow: Alright then. By the way why are you in StarClan?

Hawkfrost: StarClan hates Firey-star

Brightsparrow: Right….okay, be here in like a week

Hawkfrost: Fine, here's Judy

Judy: Want me to get Scourge up here?

Brightsparrow: Please

Scourgel: -magically leaves-

Brightsparrow: Thanks, Judy!

Judy: See ya , darling! –hangs up-

Brightsparrow: Okay, this is gonna be easy….-reads newspaper- OOOH, topis story, "Hawkfrost goes pixie!"…..excellent!

-tape ends-

Firefang: Sorry, veiwers, as you can see, not the most interesting thing in the world…but yeah

BYE


	11. Hawkfrost the Pixie!

I have chosen HAWKFROST..the pixie…Happy Halloween, mortals…woah…what?

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Cameras:

Woodcrest

Jadethorn

Organ:

Deafpaw

ROLL

_Before the show:_

Hawkfrost: -reads letter of reccomendation for Warriors: UNLEASHED- They can't put me on there! I'm the intellegent one of my family! Plus I want to get meh CANDY!

Mothwing: Hey Hawkeh! What do you have there? Mallow? I've been looking for that!

Hawkfrost: Er…they want you to go on that Warriors: UNLEASHED thing again! –smiles-

Mothwing: -reads- this is for you, Hawkey!

Hawkfrost: I'm not Hawkfrost…YOU ARE!

Mothwing: COOL!

Yellowfang: -enters-

Hawkfrost: Y-IZZLe! WHAAaaZZzzUUuuPPpp?

Yellowfang: -turns Hawkfrost in to a pixie- Go on the show!

Mothwing: AW! Why does _Mothwing_ get a pixie costume??

Yellowfang: ?

Hawkfrost: FINE! Hey, can I shoot JOLLY RANCHERS out of my sparkly wand? HMMM?

Yellowfang: Yeah yeah…..-leaves-

Hawkfrost: TO THE PIXIE-MOBILE!

-weird swirly thing with Hawkfrost's head appears like in the cartoons-

Hawkfrost: -starts engine and drives- NA NA NA NA NA Na Haw-

Bluestar: -appears on the window- BLUESTAR!!!!

Hawkfrost: -drives car into building that is familiar-

_While all this was going on:_

Brightsparrow: Welcome to the show! I'm Brightsparrow!

Firefang: And I am the one the only…………FIREFANG!!!

Brightsparrow: AND THIS IS!

-funky music and graphics play- Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Audience: -cheers and applaudes-

Firefang: We have no guest tonight, so you all need to watch me eat 30 hot dogs in 5 SECONDS!

-Pixie-mobile crashes through the set-

Brightsparrow: Snakeroot, Hawthorne, Ivy, and Tansy!

Firefang: What the?

Hawkfrost: HELP! This Bluestar person is on my window…foaming at the mouth!

Bluestar: UR A TRAITOR!!! –eye twitches-

Hawkfrost: CORRECTION! I'm a PIXIE! –flutters wings-

Firefang; -scrapes Bluestar off of the window-

Bluestar: NARRGG! –foams and twitches eyes-

Brightsparrow: I guess we have a guest tonight! Please give it up for HAWKFROST!

Hawkfrost: THE PIXIE!

Bluestar: KILL! WHERE ARE MUH POPPY SEEDS?

Hawkfrost: -turns bluestar into CANDY with whipped cream coming out of the mouth-

Brightsparrow: That'll scare the kiddies! In that case….-changes into costume- HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Firefang: Nice Bluestar Costume! –goes away and comes back covered in tomatos-

Brightsparrow: uhhhh

Firefang: I'm Firestar, after the audience got mad at him! Remember?

Brightsparrow: Riiiiiiggghhhttt

Firefang: OKAY! First question! So, what magicla pixie powers do you poscess?

Hawkfrost: -jumps and flutters on the couch- A flap! A flap! A flappy flappy flap!

Brightsparrow: I guess the power to be annoying…..

Hawkfrost: Well, I poof up CANDY!!! –turns the audience into Chocolate!-

Brightsparrow: Hawkfrost! Now we have no audience! Firefang we-…Firefang?

Firefang: -eating a chocolate kitty-

Brightsparrow: FIREFANG!

Firefang: What? Gumdrop eyeballs, licorice retinas, and a gummy brain! Hawkfrost is GOOD. –eats-

Brightsparrow; So, what else, mr. Hawkfrost?

Hawkfrost; The PIXIE

Brightsparrow: ….the pixie

Hawkfrost: Well I never die!

Everyone:…….

Firefang: -stops eating-

Brightsparrow: Mouse-dung….

Hawkfrost: Oh, also, one more thing –flys above Brightsparrow-

Brightsparrow: I don't like where this is going….

Hawkfrost: -farts out hershey kisses, lollipops, and mints- I have an amazingly sweet colon!

Brightsparrow: That is clean…

Firefang: -runs over- SWEET! –eats a kiss-

Brightsparrow: Firefang! That was from Hawkfrost's bottom!

Firefang: -is still eating- What?

Brightsparrow: That-…never mind

Hawkfrost: -stops farting out goodies- Something's blocking it….-winces-

Brightsparrow: Care to stop hovering over me?

Hawkfrost: -struggles but farts out Firestar-

Firestar: AH! –lands on Brightsparrow-

Brightsparrow: THE pAIN!!!

Firestar: YOU EVIL !!!

Hawkfrost: yeah yeah, hey, am I out of cereal in there? Did you notice?

Firestar: Just the Cocoa Puffs

Hawkfrost: Gee, I better get to the market!

Brightsparrow: -feeling low on air- Can you get off of me, Firestar?

Firestar: I dunno, you're purdy!

Brightsparrow: OH FIREFANG! Where's your chainsaw?

Firefang: -throws it to her-

Firestar: Haha, that's probably just a kiddy toy!

Brightsparrow: -starts chainsaw- DIE!!!!!!

_In StarClan, while this is happening:_

Whitestorm: GO BRIGHTEH!

Cinderpelt: SAW HIM IN HALF!!!

Redtail: Wait, doesn't that mean he'll be up here with us?

Everyone:……

Whitestorm and Cinderpelt: DON'T DO IT!!!

_In the studio:_

Firestar: AHHH!!!-runs off-

Brightsparrow: PHEW, now I can just-

Hawkfrost: -farts out Heavystep-

Brightsparrow: Just my luck, the fat one!

Heavystep: -falls on Brightsparrow-

Brightsparrow: AH!

-studio floor crumbles-

Brightsparrow: -falls through- Ow…

Heavystep: -lands on her-

Brightsparrow, in a muffled voice: Owwwwww –arms flailing-

Hawkfrost: Too much FIBER!!!

Firefang: Well….that's it! I'm Firefang! And that _was_ Brightsparrow!

Brightsparrow, muffled: I'M STILL ALIVE YOU PIECE OF FOXDUNG! HELP!

Firefang; Er….See ya! Happy Halloween! Get plenty of candy!

Hakwfrost: Fresh from my bottom!

Firefang: -pushes him- Shut up, this is my camera time!

Bluestar: -spells wares off- What the? –sniffs the air- TRAAAIIITTTOOOORRRRSSS!

Firefang: Oh twoleg sh-

Bluestar: -foams at the mouth, hissing, eye twitching, arms flailing- NARRRRRFFFFF –attacks camera-

Firefang: Oh no-

==STAND BY===


	12. Deafpaw

OH HAI DER

I'm back, everyone! Yeah...Writers.....block....er....yeah..turns out it's a long term thing...yah

Thanks to Falconflight for the suggestion of DEAFPAW'S INTERVIEW

Yeah....cast interviews...I know :P

But I have stopped reading warriors...ONOZ

And so, this means the next episode after this...will be the last :(

Interviewers:

Brightsparrow

Firefang

Camera:

Woodcrest

Jadethorn

Organ:

Deafpaw

ON WITH IT!

_Before the show:_

Brightsparrow: -runs out of medicine cat den- I AM CURED OF MY WRITERS BLOCK! I don't even know how I managed to plan the last interview...huh. -goes to Firefang's den-

Firefang: BRIGHTEH! Finally, where have yah been??

Brightsparrow: HOSPITAL! I thought you knew that...I mean I had writer's block and not to mention the fact that Heavystep and Firestar landed on me.....

Firefang: Meh....I've been through worse

Brightsparrow: Like what?

Firefang: Well once I ran out of insults......

Brightsparrow: Drama queen....

Firefang: HEY!

Brightsparrow: So while I was gone, who'd you book?

Firefang: ......er

Brightsparrow: You didn't book anyone???!

Firefang: Well....we could do....Deaf...paw

Brightsparrow: WHaT COULD WE ASK HIM???

Firefang: ANYTHING! MUAHAHAHAH!

Brightsparrow: You have a point there my friend.....

_During the show:_

Brightsparrow: Ello she-cats and gentle-toms! I am...welll....you've seen the other episodes, right?

Firefang: And you all know who I am....

Audience member: (in the distance) who?

Brightsparrow: AND THIS IS!

-funky music and graphics play- Warriors: UNLEASHED!

Firefang: Our next guest...well...is a cast interview

Brightsparrow: WITH NO HEARING! So this should be fun!

Firefang: So lets give it up fo' DEAFPAW!

Audience: -claps-

Deafpaw: -sits down-

Brightsparrow: So Deafeh, what do you think about us not reading warriors...?

Deafpaw: What?

Firefang: I think so too....but we have no time :/

Deafpaw: What?

Brightsparrow: -whispers- Are you sure this will be good?

Firefang: -whispers back- yep....we just gotta add a few more "whats" and bring someone in!

Brightsparrow: Someone? Who did-

Firefang: -ahem- So Deafpaw, whats your favorite piece of music?

Deafpaw: What?

Firefang: Interesting...

Brightsparrow: -checks rating chart- Er…Firefang-

Firefang: Ok, so who in the studio do you think is hot? ;)

Deafpaw: -in slow voice- I C A N T H E A R Y O U!!!!

Brightsparrow: FIREFANG!!!

Firefang: What??

Brightsparrow: -in hushed tone- ratings…chart….now

Firefang: Oh it's not that bad, -looks- WOAH…ok…-presses "secret" button-

Mysterious Shadow: -comes in building-

Brightsparrow: -notices fog around it- Did you add that in? Nice...

Firefang: Well thanks :D

Mysterious shadow: Snowkit???

Audience: -gasps-

Brightsparrow: OH NO

Firefang: OH NO

Deafpaw: What?

Kool-Aid man: OH YEAH!!!

Firefang: You again? SECURITY!!!

Kool-Aid man: Oh Ye….-gets trampled by guards-……ouch

Brightsparrow:…..ok then…-notices shadow again- HOLY RAGWEED!

Firefang: We get your knowledge of herbs..…now shut up….

Brightsparrow: BUT ITS…SPECKLETAIL!!!!

Speckletail: -emerges from shadow and fog- Yes it is I….

Firefang: B-but how did you survive all those moons???

Speckletail: Oh, you know how realistic the Erins are, right?

Brightsparrow: True,true

Speckletail: I have come here for Snowkit...

Firefang: Snowkit isn't here….

Speckletail: You have a deaf, white cat there, I think that's Snoweh D:

Brightsparrow: Um…that's just Beethoven…we just turned him into a cat

Speckletail: You mean that drooling dog? What the....

Firefang: No no no….the composer? We needed an organ player….

Speckletail: But he looks exactly like him!

Deafpaw: What?

Brightsparrow: Can we just do the interview?

Speckletail: -has steam coming out of her head-

Firefang: Are you ok?

Speckletail: Grrrr I AM NOT LEAVING! -attacks camera-

Brigsparrow: uh ohh….

Deafpaw: What?

=STAND BY=

Firefang: -wakes up- Er…what happened?

Brightsparrow: Oh, I don't know…..

Firefang: -looks around- Uh...

Brightsparrow: What?

Woodcrest: -emerges from cameras- Ow….

Jadethorn: -also emerges- I think Speckle stole Deafpaw…

Brightsparrow: WHAT???

Firefang: We have no organ player???

Brightsparrow: What are we gonna do for the finale?

Woodcrest: AND WE NEED THE EXTRA ORGAN-PLAYING!

Brightsparrow: Why?

Firefang: There's a surprise….and this time…we ARE going to do it….

Brightsparrow: Oh great....

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?

Sorry, peoples, no voting this time. :P

BUT…list some creative ideas…..We wanna make this as great as possible!

Just nothing to do with a specific character….

Something random….something that will make EVERYONE laugh their tails off!!

GO TO WORK!

This will be the last interview D:


	13. Finale part one

WELCOME! To the FINALE!

Sadling, i know, but I need to concentrate on my other stories

So you will get a dose of something very special

Yes! All characters have come!

Thanks to:

Willowpaw-Xzera-Razo, BiRdSrOck, Me Squared

for making this special something!

Brightsparrow: -gets ready in her trailer- Ahh last episode….makes me sad.

_While in Woodcrest and Jadethorn's trailer (we're cheap…they have to share)_

Woodcrest: -brushes his teeth and grooms hair- I have to look good when filming this! -teeth twinkle-

Jadethorn: -comes out of other room- WOODCREST! Let me use the hairbrush already!

Woodcrest: I have to look STUNNING. And not like your stunning…I have a better kind of stunning…

Jadethorn: -slaps him- I LOOK LIKE A MESS RIGHT NOW! And people will barely see you!

Woodcrest: You mean you just look like yourself….

Jadethorn: GRRR -attacks him-

Woodcrest: GAH! NOT THE FUR! I JUST GOT THAT GROOMED!

Jadethorn: KITTYPET!!

_While in the studio, Firefang started to get bored_

Firefang: -walks in- UGH…I swear, how did Deafpaw use to handle Woodcrest and Jadethorn's fighting? ….oh right.

Mail-person: Er…package for the finale?

Firefang: OOH! GIMME! -takes it- oh yeah and thanks…-slams door- Now what can this do? -opens- OMFG!!!! A FLAME-THROWER!!! Lets see how this baby works…

Food-carrier: -rolls in cart of food for finale after party-

Firefang: OOH! FOOD! -looks- Oh….oh YUCK! Who here ordered tofu?? -looks at order form- Of course, Brightsparrow…-sighs- she does not know party food… -looks around and back at the flame-thrower- heheheh…..DIE TOFU! -flame-throws at tofu- BUAHAHAH!

-flame catches onto table cloth covering it-

Firefang: OH NO OH NO OH NO! Er…what do I do??? -panics and pushes cart away, into the huge curtains, which also catches on fire- AW!! THAT'S ALSO FLAMMABLE??!?!?

Ghost of Stupidity: FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE

Firefang: OK! -flame throws at the curtains, causing more of the studio to catch on fire- AHHH!!!!! -reaches for what she thinks is water and pours it on some of the studio-

The fire grows and spreads-

Firefang: WHAT??? How is that…-looks at container and realizes its not water- Oh..gasoline…that makes sense….

The fire spreads throughout the building

Firefang: AHHHH!!! -runs to nearest exit with flame thrower and gets out-

_While in Woodcrest and Jadethorn's trailer_

Woodcrest: AHHH! OK I'LL GIVE YOU THE HAIRBRUSH!!!

Jadethorn; FINALLY! -brushes some of her hair- Hey…-sniffs- do you smell…smoke..?

Woodcrest: -sniffs- Yes I do….OH NO IT INVADED MY NOSE! MY AWESOME NOSE!

Jadethorn: Shut up about your nose! -looks outside of the trailer window-

Firefang: -runs like a maniac by the trailer- MOMMY!! HELP ME!!!! IM TOO SMART TO DIE!!!

Jadethorn: -in her mind thinks "heh…yeah right"- Uh…what's she running from?

Woodcrest: MOVE! -shoves her and sees smoke from studio- That's strange…it's coming from the studio!

Both of them: -gets out of the trailer and sees a huge fire-AH!!! -runs to Brightsparrow's trailer with Firefang-

All three: -knocks on door furiously- BRIGHTSPARROW! BRIGHTSPARROW!! BRIGHTSPARROW!!!

Brightsparrow: -opens up door- What's all the fuss about, homies?

All three: -points to studio with worried look on their faces- THAT…

Brightsparrow: -looks- AH!! WHO DID THIS??

Brightsparrow, Jadethorn, and Woodcrest: -all look at Firefang-

Firefang:….you ordered tofu!

Brightsparrow: -eye twitches- YOU!!!

Firefang: I-I CAN EXPLAIN!!

Brightsparrow: YOU CAUSED THE FIRE!!! HOW ARE WE GONNA FILM THE LAST EPISODE NOW?

Spottedleaf: -descends from Starclan- Hello all. I have come to-

Firefang: Oh, the all perfect Spottedleaf….boring as Bright here…well you'll do. So, Spot, what did you love about Firestar ;)?

Spottedleaf: -looks at her angrily- I'm not here to get interviewed!

Firefang: WELL?

Spottedleaf: He used to hate Sandstorm as much as I did, but lets not discuss-

Firefang: OH HO HO! What a turn of events!

Brightsparrow: -slaps her- Shut up now…so what can we do Spottedleaf?

Firefang: OH SURE…be "serious"! Well this isn't getting ANY good ratings I bet...

Spottedleaf: Urgh…well you can go to the source of the hilarity!

Firefang: -gasps- DISNEYLAND? :D

Spottedleaf:….No

Firefang: oh….

Spottedleaf: Well I'll give you a sign…

Brightsparrow: Enough signs…just get to the point…..

Spottedleaf: -grimaces- Fine…go to the gathering! It's a full moon after all….

Brightsparrow: OF COURSE! But we haven't been…reading…warriors…..we stopped at the beginning of Dark River

Spottedleaf: Why?

Firefang: Well we're sort of like…apprentices….but not…there's this thing called "school"

Spottedleaf: Ok…well just do experiences up to there….OR…spoilers!

Brightsparrow: How long will this quest to finish the series take?

Spottedleaf: 15 minutes..it's up the hill -points-

Firefang: oh….

Spottedleaf: WELL BYE -poofs away-

All three take a trip to the gathering, reading as many web pages as possible, since the author hates surprises. (yes we brought a laptop)

Brightsparrow: -reads- DANG IT! We missed a lot!

Firefang: -looks- Oh yes we did…

Brightsparrow: OOH! BRAMBLECLAW FOUND OUT!

Firefang: NO WAY NO WAY! -reads-

Both of them: Ohhhh….

Brightsparrow: Knew it wouldn't last....

Jadethorn: It looks like we're here…

Firefang: -looks through the trees- Yep…there are cats going on a huge fallen tree…

Brightsparrow: How are we going to sneak in?

Firefang: We'll be just like Beetlewhisker!

Brightsparrow: Who?

Firefang: EXACTLY!

Brightsparrow: Huh…good point!

Woodcrest: What do we do about our cameras??

Firefang: It's a new type of…herb….

Jadethorn: You think they'll believe that?

Brightsparrow: They only know about the internet….not any other piece of technology…

All of them walk across the log while Blackstar is updating the clans.

Blackstar: Ok…ShadowClan still hates you all, and we'll probably plan something totally evil in the next couple of moons…Firestar? What about Kittypetland?

Firestar: It's doing good, brah.

Blackstar: May I ask why you are wearing a sombrero?

Firestar: The bald spot is still there…I mean….SkyClan day....

Firefang: -sneaks up behind Crowfeather- BOO!

Crowfeather: -annoyed- Listen who do you think you're-AHH!!! THEY'RE BACK!!! THEY'RE BACK!!!!

Firestar: -looks- AH! -hides behind Blackstar- MUMMY!

Blackstar: -punches him- GET OFF MeH!

Mothwing: OH NO! BADGERS!

Brambleclaw: HELP!!!!

All cats: -run away-

Brightsparrow:….that was shorter than expected

Firefang: Well…they remember us.

Woodcrest: Looks like the audience needs to help us again…

Firefang: -sighs- you know the drill, everyone….

Brightsparrow: Which cats would you like us to hunt down…I mean interview next?

Firefang: We already have a suggestion for Blackstar….SO LETS GO!

Brightsparrow: OH RIGHT. OH BLACKSTAR!!! WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU!!!!

Blackstar: -shivers from a tree- Oh no, this is gonna be painful….

You heard them :)

Yeah...I wanted to get this out as soon as possible, and I'm not exactly into reading right now....so I know you guys know what characters will be good ;)


End file.
